"There are many rains in the Qingming period, and the people on the road want to break the soul." Qingming is approaching, and every year at this time, people will return home to sweep. Children who hear or see these actions of the adults will inevitably have curiosity and doubts. What is the grave sweeping? What does it mean to die? Then, one day we will die too? "Death" is often the most taboo word for Chinese people. It is difficult to hide and hide with this matter, let alone talk about this topic freely. However, if parents choose to avoid talking, it is equivalent to pushing them away from us in the invisible, forcing them to rely on their own strength, instead of facing the support and guidance of adults. And digesting "death" is a major life issue. So, how do we correctly recognize death, how to explain them from the child's point of view, and guide? The small insects that meet the fallen leaves and die are just the opportunities for us to help our children understand the death. On the road, occasionally encountering fallen leaves or dead bugs is the most common thing. This time may be a suitable time for our children to infiltrate their lives. We express as naturally as possible: "Any life is There are beginnings and endings, and there are deaths when born." There is also a very common way for parents to introduce the concept of life and death to their children, that is, to plant some annual small plants, such as peanuts, at home. We took the children to plant a few small peanuts in the pots, and accompanied the children to observe the emergence, growth, flowering, and final wilting and death of the peanuts. In this process, children can experience the life and death and reproduction of plants more intuitively, and we can use them as an analogy in the future when we need to explain them to life and death. Picture book is a good good helper Children usually start to pay attention to various topics related to death when they are 4 or 5 years old. Moreover, their focus at this age is often about the separation behind death: people who die will leave the world; Doing it is that we die ourselves, and we must also be separated from our living relatives. In fact, in the mouth of this age child, "Don't, I don't want you to die", the most direct interpretation is "I don't want to lose you, I want to see you every day, I want to be with you all the time!" There is an individual difference in the degree of psychological development of each child, and the time of attention to the topic of life and death is not completely consistent. Parents can collect some excellent picture books on such topics and accompany them to read them on weekdays. If the child can't understand it for a while, it won't be badly affected by reading the story. At most, the child can't understand it. If this is the case, Mom and Dad may wish to wait for the child's footsteps and wait until they grow up. Here are a few pictures to recommend to you, without specific age for reading, parents don't have to worry about the story of life and death, it will be "too early" or "too late" for children of certain ages. "A leaf falls down" Author: Leo Buss with Cagliari, Ren Rongrong translation Publisher: Nanhai Publishing Company The work takes a story of the four seasons with a leaf to tell the course of life and the value of existence. The text is simple, the picture is fresh and very moving, giving people comfort... "Farewell to Anna" Author: Mika Ira Hall Cottage illustration: Hyde care facilities Linguaphone Publisher: Foreign Language Press This picture book helps children over the age of three and their loved ones to courageously face the topic of aging and death. The beautiful story of the old dragon and the magic box tells us that the good times shared in memory can best help us to heal the sorrow of losing loved ones and keep them in our hearts forever. "象è€çˆ¹" Author: Buhe Ji Wen agriculture, bud map, then translated Yi Publisher: Hunan Children's Publishing House Like the old man is very old, he will leave the mouse sister and go to the elephant paradise. However, the bridge leading to the elephant paradise was broken, and only the mouse sister could be repaired. I love the old-fashioned mouse sister who will fix the broken bridge and let the old man go to another world on the bridge? This is a moving story, full of optimism and respect and love for life. Some parents also read some picture books, such as the snow melting snowman disappeared, or the wolf was killed by the hunter, afraid that the child will be sad, and deliberately compile some satisfactory endings. In fact, it is not necessary. Although parents' distressed children's wishes are all good intentions, they try not to do things that make their children sad, but they can't do it so that they don't have to face the real world's various disappointments. Mom and Dad need to accompany their children in life to gradually understand their meaning, instead of deceiving children to say that death does not exist. At the same time, tell the child: "At this moment, we are with you. We will always be with you until the death." If you have a family member who has died, how can you comfort your child? If the deceased relatives in the family originally had a close connection with the child (such as grandparents, grandfathers), then the child experienced pain, which is a particularly natural and particularly normal human reaction. We can't, and we don't have the right to try to keep the child "normal" by some of our own methods, because this normality is too cruel to anyone. In the past work, there were indeed parents who asked me that "there is such a thing in the family. Should we show the child what kind of picture book, can he not be so sad?" My answer is, "Please allow the child to be sad for a while!" The children at this time do not need any books or philosophies. They just need to make enough mourning for the death of this loved one. In this process of mourning, the child can psychologically complete the final farewell with the deceased, in order to obtain the courage and strength to continue living after the pain. Waiting for the child's emotions to calm down slightly, then communicate with him at the language level, telling the child that life and death are indeed beyond our control, but as time goes by, the pain of losing love will gradually fade away, and they leave us beautiful. Memory will last forever. Sometimes, parents can expand the content of more communication - precisely because we don't want to die, so we have to live well in every day - cherish life and other deeper topics, can be carried out. In a widowed family, the child asks the missing father/mother, how do you tell the child? In single-parent families where fathers or mothers are widowed in their infants (or earlier), we can often observe that when the child reaches the age of 3-5, he begins to ask where is the missing father/mother at home? The reason why they can ask this question is because the cognitive and thinking skills have developed, and it is possible to detect that there is a father/mother missing from the family. They need to find an answer for their own awareness. At this time, if the adults in the family can't face the children's questions, refuse to help the children understand the death and separation? Why is my father/mother not at home? (Although this real answer does make children very unhappy) It is very likely that the child will fall into the fear of the imagination in his own mind - is the father/mother being eaten by the monster? Is it because the bad thing becomes a statue? Or because I am not cute, I am too bad to leave? Death is a real existence of this world. Children need to know this. Therefore, Dad/Mom needs to admit to the children that we all will die. Death will let the deceased leave the world. At the same time, tell the child: talking about death and separation often makes us sad, but this will not affect my love for you. In the process, physical hugs and appeasement can often help the child's mood to return to calm. Final summary 1. For younger children, we can let children understand the concept of life and death through the hair growth, withering and fading in nature. 2, some good picture books will also help us communicate with children about death, but it does not have to deliberately tell the children. 3. When someone in the family dies, parents should respect the child's feelings and emotions and give them time. This is the process in which the child bids farewell to the deceased. 4. In a widowed family, the father/mother needs to admit the other party's departure with the child, but at the same time tell the child: I love you. 5, many parents may often ignore, the responsibility and function of parents, there is such a task that we often feel uncomfortable, is to accompany the child to understand a variety of negative emotions, but we can not avoid or even refuse Because, to help them understand that sadness or fear is part of life, in order to help them better meet the unknown life. 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Qingming talks about death - want to talk to children about death? How to talk?